A well-reasoned argument – Encore needs a company truck

For my last blog post before Christmas, I am going to address a topic that has been on the mind of at least three people who read this blog.  That is, ALL the people who read this blog.  This topic can be best summarized by a question – “Why doesn’t Encore Orchestral Strings have a 2019 Ford F-250 crew-cab short-bed 4×4 diesel truck as a company vehicle”?  Excellent question.  In order to most effectively answer this question, I believe it should be flipped on its head – why SHOULD Encore have such a vehicle.  Please allow me to present my case using an abbreviated, 52-point format.

1. One day we might have the opportunity to purchase one of the surviving cellos by Antonio Stradivari.  The seller might insist on payment in gold.  At today’s market value of both the cello and the gold, that would require 750 pounds of gold.  Clearly, the bed of a heavy-duty pickup would be ideal for transporting the gold and the backseat of a crew-cab pickup would be ideal for transporting the cello. 
2. Yo-Yo Ma might give a private concert at Paige’s Music and require transportation from the airport not only for himself and his cello, but also for a metric ton of playground sand as a prop for his performance…giving it a nice tropical theme. 
3. The extraordinarily handsome owner of Paige’s Music might want some mulch delivered to his home.  Instead of hiring a delivery service, I could simply load the mulch in the truck.
4. We occasionally receive a school order for 87,755 Tourte mutes, which could easily be loaded in the bed of the truck. 
5. Encore might form a string quartet in the future. It’s so obvious that a heavy-duty pickup truck is the ideal transportation for a string quartet and its instruments that any discussion to the contrary is completely absurd.
6. John has been a faithful and productive member of the Encore team for the past thirteen years.  As this is his only hope for ever driving such a truck on a daily basis, he’s resorted to this absurd blog post in a desperate attempt – through nothing but pure logic – to convince the leadership that this is a fabulous idea. 
7. Diesel fuel is produced through an oil refinery process.  Oil is found in Siberia.  Siberian stallions produce the best hair for violin-family bows.  Duh.
8. If you filled the pickup truck bed with mattress foam, you’d be able to throw a cello (in a hard case) into the bed from great distances.  This avoids the time-consuming, and now unnecessary, job of placing it carefully in the backseat.   
9. Nothing says “violin shop” like the smell of diesel exhaust.
10. Let’s say a famous pianist was stranded on the side of the road with her 9-foot concert grand piano.  Being able to offer her and her piano a ride would generate goodwill in the music community.
11. The engine of the truck utilizes pushrods which are shaped almost identically to the soundposts utilized in violin-family instruments.
12. John would be very happy driving the truck.  John’s increased happiness would result in a 1,567% increase in sales.  And that’s just a conservative number.
13. Safety.  The much higher ride height and resulting increase in visibility means Encore personnel are more likely to arrive safely at work.
14. IT’S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL.
15. I’m not really going to come up with 52 reasons. Feel free to contact Jeremy McQueary at Paige’s if you are in support of this idea.  Thus concludes today’s silliness.